i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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