Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
