I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
