I cockslap morals
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He shit in the fireplace
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