I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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