Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
