you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
