i need an iv and a liver transplant
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
