It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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