Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
