I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
