the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
