you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
