I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
