You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
