We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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