He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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