chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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