Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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