I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
