Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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