i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
