I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
