Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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