i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
