guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
