I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
