What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
