well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
and she was petting her beer can
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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