I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
