dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
