the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you win again, gameday.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
