Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
