wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My vagina is very pro this idea
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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