Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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