I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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