forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
