So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you never un-have a 4some
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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