I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
