she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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