I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We need to rekindle our bromance
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My dick has a subreddit
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
