I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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