Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
