mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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