Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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