My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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