i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im holly from the hills drunk
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
