just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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