she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
