Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My balls are so social today.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
