I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
